Since my last post 3 weeks ago we have experienced some computer failure at our house and I haven't been able to blog. I feel very lost. I have so many ideas in my head to write about, I can't ever decide which to do first. Then, as our computer would only work for about 10 minutes at a time, blogging wasn't the most important use of those 10 minutes. Now, our computer is off to fix-it land and I am borrowing my mom's very nice, new, working computer while they are on a mini vacation!
Anyway, something I've wanted to write about on here for a while is whether Aria will be our only child. Our country probably averages over 2 children per family. It is definitely not common for a couple to only have one child here in the good ol' USA. Maybe I should live in China. I think it is much more common there. At least in China people probably wouldn't just automatically assume we are going to have more children. After all the struggles we went through to get pregnant, I couldn't believe the comments I received once I was pregnant about having a second or third or fourth child. People would comment on how there is no rest during a second pregnancy or on how close together to have the kids and other random topics about multiple children. In my mind I always thought...can't I just have this child first?
Granted, most people who commented like that did not know about our journey to pregnancy, but there were some who did know and still talked about more children. Maybe it is just our society; always wanting more. I have that kind of personality I suppose. My parents will tell you I was always looking forward to the next big milestone...going to school, turning 10, going to high school, turning 16, etc. I suppose the logical next step once you are preparing to have your first child is to think about the second. Well, not me.
Don't get me wrong, if God decides to naturally give us another child I will be thrilled. Of course, I kind of hope He doesn't decide to do that until Aria is at least 2. However, I am not counting on another child. I feel so very blessed and lucky to have a happy, healthy, beautiful little girl who fills my life with joy every day. I can't imagine my life without her. When I look into the future, I always just see the three of us. Maybe I just don't know any better at the moment. It is a strange conflict in my head. Do I want another child? Do I want to go through in vitro again? I don't know. I really can't answer that right now. I do know that I would be perfectly content if Aria is the only child I ever have. How do I know?
I am one of those rare "only children". It is the only thing I really know. I bet a person with several brothers and sisters might be scared of having only one child, but not me. I know exactly what that kind of life is like. When I was a young child, there were times I wanted a brother or sister to play with. There were times I wondered why I was an only child. There were times I got sick of people talking about how spoiled I was for being an only child. Right now, those are the only negatives I can think of. To counter those negatives, I had a lot of cousins that lived close that I got to play with. A lot of the people who called me spoiled had just as much or more than I did. And, whenever I wondered why I was an only child, my mom would reply, "We got it right the first time. Why would we want to do it again?" I kind of like that response!
There are a lot of good things about being an only child. The parents never have to choose whose basketball game, band concert, volleyball game, softball game, dance recital, etc to go to. The parents can make easy arrangements to travel all over the country to basketball games like mine did when I was in college. Once they drove our team van to Sioux City and back in one day, got home at 6:00 am and went to work without any sleep. Of course there is also the money issue. All the money budgeted for birthday presents, Christmas presents, vacation fun, etc. can be spent on just the one child. That sounds really vain, but it is an advantage. Another advantage, having no siblings to be close with, I naturally have a very close relationship with both of my parents. I can tell them anything. I got all of my parents attention. I didn't have to wait for someone else, share, take turns, or help raise other kids. Yes, I was spoiled. But, I like to think I wasn't a spoiled brat. My parents did give me the world when they could, but they did it through love. I still had discipline and I still heard the word 'no'. Bottom line, there can be only one child and she can be spoiled without being a spoiled brat.
When I was younger there were times I wanted siblings, but as an adult I see how lucky I was to be an only child. I am still lucky being an only child. Now, Aria is an only grandchild...imagine how awesome that is! There are still some things I'm scared of. I no longer have any living grandparents. I watched as my parents handled both of their parents deaths with their siblings. They could lean on each other, make decisions together, and help each other get through it. I won't have that. I do have a very loving husband who will take that place, though. The cousins I got to play with so much when I was young...Aria won't have any 'Blow' cousins. (Teran--I guess that means you need to have several kids so Aria can have some cousins!) Right now, I'd like to think not having cousins on my side of the family won't matter. Recently our friend group has exploded with children, all just about within 2 years of age. I would like to think those kids can be Aria's cousins?? Let me know if that is okay with Caleb, Sophia, Levi, Gracie, Joey, Evelyn, baby H....!
What will Aria think of being an only child? I'm sure a lot of the same things I thought and maybe more. Will she end up being an only child? Only God knows that plan. I do know that she will be spoiled, but will hopefully be taught not to be a spoiled brat. And, when she wonders if she was a bad baby or if her parents didn't really want children much like I did, I will respond the same way my mom did to me....we definitely got it right the first time! Just look at that cute face!
