One Year Ago...

On Friday, January 29, 2010, Justin and I left our house around 6:30 am in the freezing cold under the light of a full moon to head to the hospital for Aria's arrival.  Our induction was scheduled for 7:00 am, but the doctor showed up around 8:00 to break my water.  For the morning and early afternoon the day was pretty uneventful with contractions about 7 minutes apart.  Around the 3:00 pm shift change the contractions were about 5 minutes apart and were getting pretty painful in my back.  The doctor decided to use some drugs to speed up the process a bit and I opted for the epidural.  I actually got the epidural twice because the first one hit a vein...how fun.  Then I was in lala land for a couple of hours, not feeling a thing.  Around 6:00 pm the nurse checked to see how I was progressing and said, "hello head!"  I hadn't felt any pressure or anything so I was surprised.  The doctor decided to let me go awhile longer since I wasn't feeling like I should push.  About 6:45 the nurse thought I should start to push.  At first I honestly thought it was fun!  I knew it meant my daughter would be here soon!  The doctor came in after a few pushes and decided he had time to eat supper before Aria came out.  I didn't think it was extremely painful until a little after 8:00.  At that point I was ready to get on with it.  We had a fabulous nursing student whose shift actually ended at 7:00, but she asked if she could stay for the birth and we were glad to let her.  She was awesome in helping me count through the pushing and do what I needed to do.  I don't remember when the doctor joined us for good, but I do remember that he wasn't there and the nurse wouldn't let me push for fear of Aria coming without him.  That part was the worst!  Then, when he did come, he was able to watch the Winter X Games on tv as he was delivering Aria...that made me laugh!  Finally, we had reached the point where the doctor told me I needed to push really hard to get her out because it was time.  And on the very next push, at 8:43 pm, out came my Aria! 

The next several hours, well the entire year really, has been a whirlwind!  I'm not sure there is a word to describe the emotions after having a child.  I was on cloud 9, filled with excitement, love, happiness, and joy.  I was also anxious and nervous about, "will I be a good mom?"  And, I was having a hard time getting rid of all the meds in my body without any food in it!  Once things calmed down, visitors came and went (yes in the middle of the night) and the first bath was over with, we got to sleep.  Boy was I exhausted!  But it was so hard to sleep thinking about that precious little girl I finally got to hold in my arms.  I dreamed and prayed and cried and hoped for my very own child for years and she was finally here! 

And now....

She is one year old!  I can't believe it and yet I can.  I remember the day of her birth like it was yesterday, but it also seems so far away!  She has obviously grown and changed so much in just one year.  I look at pictures from those first few days and I don't even think it looks like her.  The first year brings so much learning for both child and parents.  I gave my mom a little knick knack thing that says, "With the birth of a child, a grandmother is born."  I think that is so true, not just with a grandmother, though.  A new life is added to the world when a baby is born, but it also brings new life to the parents.  My life was not complete without Aria.  I don't know how I lived without her.  She has made me a whole new (and I think better) person.  God has used her to teach me so many things.  The biggest one is that she came into this world completely defenseless, not able to do anything for herself.  She immediately trusted me to give her everything she needs.  She can now do many things herself, but still completely trusts me to provide for her and to show her the way.  God does the same thing for all of his children.  We are completely defenseless, wandering blind in this world without Him.  But, if we put our trust completely on him, he will give us everything we need!  

This year has been amazing, overwhelming, joyous, tiring, educational, happy, and life changing!  I am so thankful for my now one-year-old little girl!  It was fun to celebrate her birthday and thank God for everything that she has brought us.  I am so excited for what he has in store for her second year! 



Is She Walking?

A few months ago we commonly got the question, "is she crawling?" and I never knew what to say because she was rolling/scooting herself around everywhere, but didn't do the traditional crawl at first. Now we have moved up a stage and get the question, "is she walking?" and I don't know how to answer that one, either. Yes, she can take several steps unassisted. Very recently she learned how to stand up on her own without using anything to pull herself up. Does she walk everywhere? No. Is she very good at it? No. But, we're getting there!

"Sibling" Love

...and no, I'm not being cryptic, this doesn't mean in
any way, shape, or form that we are having another child!

One Nap or Two?

Between 5 and 6 months of age, Aria decided she didn't need her third nap anymore.  She never took a very long third nap anyway, but one day she just stayed awake and played in her crib for about 30 minutes.  Then did so the next day and the next day and the next day until I decided she must not need the nap anymore.  Now we are to that nap transition period again where I am about to go nuts trying to decide between one nap or two.  Aria hasn't given me any definitive signs this time around, either.  Just before Christmas, both of her naps were pretty short.  However, when I opted to skip the morning nap, sometimes she slept for 3 hours in the afternoon and sometimes only 1 hour.  The 1 hour days were not fun.  Then, all of a sudden, she started taking 2 great naps again.  Now we're back to 2 not so great naps.  And still, when we skip the morning nap she varies her sleep in the afternoon.  The biggest difference I notice in my child now, though, is that she wakes up happy from almost every nap.  So, I guess that means she has gotten enough sleep.  It sure would be nice for some sense of schedule if we could just go forward with one nap.  But, we'll stick out this week with 2 since I scheduled her birthday party around a 2 nap day!  :)  Then we'll see how a one-year-old likes taking just one nap! 

What am I doing this for anyway?

I actually tried to start a blog several times before I started this one.  Every time I did, I just didn't really know what to say.  As I said in my very first entry, my purpose of this is mostly to put stuff about Aria for those who don't get to see her every day like I do.  I think there are people out there who are interested in that.  But, in the beginning, it also turned into an outlet for me to tell our story about in vitro.  I'm not sure how interested people out there were in that, but it was really big for me.  In vitro was very hard for me to talk about throughout the process, throughout my pregnancy, and even after Aria was born.  But once I started blogging about it, my heart opened up and it became easy to talk about.  I'm not afraid to answer questions anymore and will gladly discuss it openly.  Once I got most of our story in blog entries (I'm sure there will always be more I could say), I shifted my focus mostly to what Aria is up to.  I think it will be fun to show her these entries someday when she understands what it is.  But sometimes I get caught up in what should I blog about?  I write so many blog entries in my head that I don't take the time to actually type out.  I could say that I don't have time or don't get to the computer, but most of the time it's just my choice.  I have many thoughts about books I read or news events or just random topics that interest me, but I often don't write about them because I don't think people will want to read my random thoughts.  But lately I've really discovered that I'm not keeping this blog for everyone else, I'm doing it for me.  I used to write a lot.  I can't really say I kept a "journal" because I didn't have one of those neat little books where I kept all my thoughts, but I just randomly wrote in many places.  And now I'm doing it again on this neat little website!  This blog helps me clarify my thoughts and reflect on things.  It helps me document what stages Aria is passing through.  And, it does give people a chance to catch up with our family.  I do know of a few friends and family that are far away that keep up with us this way...a big HELLO to you!  So, this blog I started 9 months ago, that I didn't know if I would keep up with, has turned into a really great thing.  At least for me!     

Baptism

To go along with our study on the book of Acts, Pastor Bob flared up another topic in my head, baptism.  A little background, our church does not do infant baptisms.  It is a concept I had never really put much thought to before I had (or was going to have) an infant.  Both Justin and I were baptized as infants and I'm not trying to say there is anything wrong with that process.  However, last Sunday as we studied chapter 2 of Acts, I really started thinking about baptism.  In verse 38, Peter says "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.  And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."  Our pastor pointed out that it doesn't say, "if you don't get baptized, you don't go to heaven," but explained that the repentance part was the key and that baptism was just the symbolism of that repentance. 

I really thought about baptism the rest of the day.  I did some more Bible reading and some research.  I'm really glad that we had a child dedication service for Aria instead of a baptism.  I think it is important for her to make her own decision to follow Christ and to be baptized.  In fact, I've thought a lot about being baptized again myself.  For me, it makes sense according to what I read in the Bible that people who chose to cross the line of faith, put all their trust in Jesus Christ, and repent of their sin to then be baptized kind of as a declaration of that faith.  Infants can't do that.  They can't make a decision to follow Jesus.  They don't have the capacity.  That's why I like how our church does a child dedication because it shows that the parents are dedicated to raising their child to know Jesus.  The parents are making a decison at the child's birth (or conception) not the child.  There should be another ceremony when the child makes his or her own decision!

I'm still wondering and trying to grasp why some churches baptized infants.  I found this website that explains a lot of information about baptism within the Catholic church.  It was long, a bit hard to follow, and had a lot of info I wasn't very interested in.  However, what I learned was that in John 3:3 Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." and that is the verse this website claims the Catholic church uses to point out that everyone must be baptized.  On the website it says there are no exceptions, even for infants.  If a person is not baptized, the person does not go to heaven.  I have a hard time with that because I don't interpret that verse the same way, but who am I to argue.  If there is anyone out there reading this who can provide me with more information or resources to help me understand, I would greatly appreciate learning!

Then I found this website and it seemed to be speaking more my language.  I'm going to copy and paste what I read because I think my summary would be quite similar. 

"A natural question would be, “does your age make a difference?” More specifically, you may ask whether infants or young children should be baptized. It may help if you understand where the idea and practice of baptizing infants came from. Around 400 AD, a man named Augustine came up with the idea of “original sin.” This basically said that everyone inherits the sin of Adam at birth and is therefore separated from God from the beginning of their life. Of course, this caused parents to become concerned over the fate of their children, should they die before “getting right with God.” Since only one of the four steps required to get right with God could be done by (or to) an infant, they decided to baptize them to “take care of the original sin.” Since it is risky to immerse an infant, these people decided to sprinkle them with water instead. Thus, both baptizing infants and baptizing by sprinkling came from human ideas. They did not come from the Bible.


If we look in the Bible we see that children are never seen to “accept Christ” (and therefore get right with God). It is also interesting that God never tells us what to do to keep a child safe. Did He just forget this important point, letting many children go to Hell and suffer eternally? No. A child is safe in the arms of God until they can understand how to be saved by accepting Jesus as their savior. (See 2 Samuel chapter 12, verses 22 and 23 along with Matthew chapter 18, verse 10.) Thus, only adults and older children (who can understand separation from God because of sin and so forth) are at the age when acceptance of Christ is possible."

To me, this website makes a lot of sense.  I don't know much about the credibiltiy of either website.  I looked into it a little bit and they seemed legit, but I'm not an internet junkie.  I will say that I did learn quite a bit about baptism and I am really happy with the fact that Aria can choose for herself someday when to be baptized.  I haven't done any research into being baptized again for myself, but I'm sure it will remain a topic of interest.

In closing, I'd just like to say that I don't mean to disrespect or pass judgement to those who baptise infants or who have had their infants baptized.  This is just something that has been on my mind a lot lately and this is where I post what is on my mind.  If anyone can point me to more learning and understanding of baptism, please do!

Recently Read: The Book of Acts

To start the new year our pastor began a series to study the book of Acts. Actually, the study is going to take us the entire year. Of course he won't be preaching through Acts every Sunday in 2011, but it will definitely be an in depth study. I really enjoy when he takes a long time to go deep into a book of the Bible. His series is called "Church on the Move" fittingly because our church will be moving to a new facility in August. On the first Sunday in January, our pastor suggested reading through the book of Acts to gain a baseline for the year-long study. I appreciated the suggestion because I had been looking for some focus in my Bible reading. Plus, I needed something specific to tackle in my new The Message Bible I got for Christmas! :) So, I took about a week and read through Acts. The Book of Acts is extremely important. It connects the Gospel, what Jesus began to do and teach, with the rest of the New Testament, which is what Jesus continued to do and teach through His disciples. In other words, the beginning of the church. In my study Bible it says theme of Acts can be summed up in verse 1:8. (Jesus speaking) "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Specifically, Jesus is speaking to His disciples during His 40 days after the Resurrection, but it really is a direction for us as Christians still today. Holy cow! Jesus lived and taught in such a small area of the earth. Then His disciples branched out and lived in taught in a little bit broader area, but in the whole scheme of things now, "to the ends of the earth" is quite a bit bigger!

So what does that mean for me? Do I have to go to some other end of the earth to teach about Jesus? That would be hard for me to do with my dislike of flying. Good for me that I don't. I'm sure I could walk up and down my street and find many non-believers who need to hear about Jesus. Unfortunately I have not done that sort of thing. I know the names of a few of my neighbors and I give a friendly smile and hello when we pass by for walks, but that's about it. Not a very good neighbor. I do have non-believers that I pray for and care about, but I'm not always so good at the share part. I'm not sure why I get hung up. In Acts, the disciples had to hide, were thrown in prison, had their lives at stake. I'm pretty sure none of that would happen to me if I just tried to share about Jesus with some people that I pray for and care about.

Obviously the book of Acts and our pastor's preaching was very convicting for me. I love Jesus! I believe that He died for my sins! I have faith that by God's grace I will go to heaven when my life ends on earth and have eternal life there. And it saddens me to know friends and neighbors who won't have the same thing. I'm praying for God's guidance, strength, and wisdom in sharing with those friends this year as our church studies Acts and the disciples who went out and continued Jesus' teaching to strangers and enemies. Maybe someday I will be able to stretch my prayer, care, share to people like that in my life, as well.

Like Mother Like Daughter

I'm not sure where my fascination and love for penguins came from, but for some reason I have loved them for quite some time now. I've visited many penguin exhibits at zoos and aquariums, collected many different types of penguin paraphernalia, and apparently passed my love of them on to my daughter. One of Aria's first toys was "Penguin Pete". She still loves that thing. Of course she has plenty of other toys and we talk about all kinds of animals, but she seems to love penguins, too. I think the stark contrast of black and white makes them easily recognizable and most penguins look pretty similar compared to most dogs don't. I still find it pretty cool that Aria will point out penguins in books, on blankets, and in other places. I haven't determined if she has a word for them yet, but she definitely knows what they are! Justin got me this penguin for Christmas in 2002, the second Christmas we celebrated when we were dating. As you can see, it now lives in Aria's room and she loves it!