From First to Last

This preschool year sure went fast!

The lilac bush is bigger.  The child is bigger.  The hair is longer.  The brain is fuller.  The confidence is greater.  The friendships are deeper.

People say it all the time, but man they sure do grow up fast.  Above she was 3 and now she is 4.  Above she was cautious about leaving mom and now she loves to spread her wings.  Her creativity has magnified and her excitement for school is brimming.  Wow!  What a difference a school year makes!

The Best Trip EVER!

I am exhausted.  I have laundry piles.  I have no idea what we will eat tomorrow for supper or lunch or breakfast.  I should go to sleep.

But, my heart is full.  And I must capture this moment while it is right in the front of my head.

I feel like I just returned from the most amazing spiritual retreat ever.  I have a renewed confidence, a deeper faith, and a serene, peaceful attitude.  I have a little bit more knowledge about how deeply God loves me.

About 7 years ago, God formed a small Bible study group of 4 couples, married about 2 years, all within a couple years age of each other.  It was a call from our church to do a 6 week study on a topic I don't even remember.  These couples were a part of an ABF class at church together and knew each other a little bit.

Our first meeting was on August 31, 2006.  I know the exact date because it was the day after my 25th birthday and Erin, the host of the evening, made cupcakes to honor the occasion.  I didn't even know she knew it was my birthday.  I probably didn't even consider her my "friend" but more like an acquaintance.

That has definitely changed.

Over the years, another couple joined the group and then one had to step away and yet another one joined.  We continued to meet on a weekly basis, studying God's Word, sharing our triumphs and struggles, and eating a lot of yummy food.  We met as couples at first, then added kids so we met as families.  We also started a separate "girl time" for the 6 women.  We experienced all aspects of life together.

We formed a bond, deeper than any friendship I have ever experienced, built solely on our love for God.  And that is what makes this group so special.

Beginning in 2011, one family moved back to their Texas home in May and another, again back to their Texas home in October.  In May of 2012, the third family left the state to move closer to family in Minnesota.  And finally, in August, the last of the moves for a family to a different community in Iowa.  What was once a core weekly group was now spread out all over the country.

I felt the need to spell this all out as I reflect upon our recent trip.  The roots of the group are so key.

Today we returned home from a 5 day retreat with 5 families in a 6 bedroom, 6 bathroom house.  We had 10 adults and 8 kids, aged 5 and under.  We had not all been together for almost 2 years.  Children have been added to families in those 2 years.  Jobs have changed.  People have moved.  Life has gone on.  New friendships have been formed.

But this friendship has remained the same.  I was ecstatic to see friends that hold such a special, special place in my heart after so long, yet it felt like they never left.  Our conversations, our level of trust, the way we used to live life when we all lived in the same town, was just the same.  And our kids played with each other.  And our kids played with the other adults.  We laughed.  We cried.  We visited some caves.  And we ate lots of yummy food.

As I said in the beginning, I feel as though I was at the most amazing spiritual retreat, ever.  Yet it was not technically a spiritual retreat.  But my friends, the best friends I've ever had, spoke God's truth into my life and strengthened my faith, just as they did for all those years we met every week.  And it's not like we did Bible studies the whole time.  Or at all.  But they showed me who God is by the way they listened, the way they parent their kids, the way they strive every day to live their lives according to God's purpose for them.

I am a constant work in progress at being confident in who God made me.  I struggle with comparing myself to others and wondering if I am good enough.  I am good at putting up a guard and not letting people all the way in.  But I don't have those problems with this group.  They are real and they let me be real without judgment.  It is absolutely wonderful.

For a long time I have mourned all of my friends moving away.  But as we got together this weekend, I realized something significant.  Back in 2006 when God brought our group together, He knew it would not last forever.  He knew people would move away.  Yet He knit our lives together and formed a bond as strong and as deep as Him.  I think God formed this bond between us so that it would stand the test of time, distance, and change.  God made these friendships so special because he knew they would have to be in order for us to maintain them.

I am so thankful for the time we spent as a small group and the bond that we formed.  I am thankful that we are still committed to spending time with each other, so much so that people took off work, drove thousands of miles, dealt with whiny kids and sleep deprivation, and paid hundreds of dollars to spend quality time together.

This was the best trip ever, not because of anything we did, but because of the time we got to spend together.  I think it was God's way of giving us a glimpse at eternity.  Beautiful fellowship with people who love God.  Oh how He loves us all!

My people, thank you.  I love you.  I can't wait until we do it again.  You filled up my heart and helped me remember who God made me.

  

2013 Favorite Pictures

I am kind of a reflective person.  Ok, really reflective and nostalgic.  Anyway, I thought it would be fun to end the year with my 12 favorite pictures from our year.  Here it goes...

This picture was taken on Aria's 3rd birthday, January 29, 2013.  I am not sure why I love it so much other than her very natural smile and joy about her birthday.  It also makes me laugh to think about the fish fiasco.  It took us three tries and a whole lot of water testing, but we have had our beloved betta, Emily (not who you see in the picture) since March.

This was taken on February 28, 2013, Jaime's senior night at Iowa.  We had so much fun watching all the games there last year.  It was fun to support Jaime and foster a love for basketball and the Hawkeyes in Aria.  She still says she is going to play basketball at Carver Hawkeye Arena.

This was taken on Easter Sunday.  I just love how much fun Aria has with my parents and my parents have with Aria.  They have such a special bond and I am so glad we get to spend every Sunday together.

This was taken on May 10 for Aria's first ever organized sport, Blast Ball.  Blast Ball was an absolute blast for Aria and for Justin and I.  She loved getting to hit the ball and run the bases.  This picture also makes me laugh because this was picture day and we forgot.  I was feeling bad about forgetting and we were late and Aria was not in the mood to have her picture taken with the group.  So, at the end of the night, we went over in the grass and got this shot.  I think it is way better than my $12 would have bought from the company that was there taking pictures.

This was taken on the Fourth of July with Aria's good friend, Eadie.  Their friendship has really blossomed this year.  When these two are together, they go off and play by themselves and it has really made me realize I now have a little girl who makes a lot of choices on her own, instead of a toddler who has everything dictated to her.  I am so thankful for their friendship and for my friendship with Eadie's mom!

This is a picture from my baptism on August 7.  I am so thankful that Robin had her camera posed and ready and got great shots of each stage.  I love how I am being raised to new life in this picture! 

This picture is from August 11 at Niagara Falls.  Our vacation was filled with so many awesome memories.  I could have stood and watched Niagara Falls forever.  This picture was by such random chance.  A guy asked us to take a picture of him and the woman he was with.  He had a really nice camera, so I knew he would take a good one of us and he was happy to return the favor.  I'm not sure we could have professionally staged a better shot.

As the sign says, this was Aria's first day of preschool on September 11.  We have had a blast doing our preschool coop this year.  Aria is certainly learning and growing and having lots of great opportunities.  This whole old enough for preschool thing sure happened fast!

This was our friendly family house divided rivalry for the National League Championship series between the Dodgers and Cardinals in October.  We took this picture on the night the Cardinals clinched the series and advanced to the World Series.  Of course, the picture was before the game.  :)  We had fun cheering boys against girls!

This is from a random morning on November 8.  Aria doesn't have a sibling to play with, so Augie fills the void.  This time Augie got to play dress up.  She is such a patient dog! 

This is bright and early on Sunday, December 1.  Aria got to sing in big church with her Little Praises choir that day.  This is the best dressed up Christmas picture I have ever gotten of Aria.  And, if you zoom close enough, you can see the largest sty that ever existed on her left eye.  What a nasty experience, but it sure didn't take away any of her cute factor!

Christmas Eve.  These two fill up my whole heart.  I love watching them interact together.  There is nothing like the bond between Daddy and daughter.  I know just how special it is!  This was after completing Aria's new tree house Lego set together. 

This is Post #500!

And what should it be about?  Aria of course!  About three and a half years ago, inspired by my very good friend's blog that I loved to read, I decided to start my own.  Initially, I wanted to write about our experience with infertility and in vitro.  It took me a long time to be able to talk about any of that stuff and this was really my stepping block to being completely open about it all.  After I got all that out of my system, I was hooked on blogging.  It took me a little bit to decide what would be my next purpose in writing, but I discovered it was already happening.  This is my virtual scrapbook.  It's even more than a scrapbook.  It's a baby book that goes well past babyhood.  It's a list of firsts, a collection of photos, a journal of funny quotes.  It's a timeline, a growth chart, and record of all we'll both forget.  Occasionally I use this to speak from my heart on a subject that doesn't necessarily relate to Aria, but most of the time you can trace it back to her.  This parenting journey has been awesome, scary, excellent, challenging, beautiful, messy, indescribable.  I've done my best to capture it on here.  I hope, someday, Aria will enjoy reading all that was her.

Take a look at how we started...

And how we've grown...

How did we get to just a few months short of 4?

Alumni Volleyball

Basketball has far and away always been my favorite sport.  There was little doubt from a very young age.  However, I played other sports all throughout my childhood and high school.  In my town, volleyball was huge.  We had a great coach and great tradition.  I remember watching the high school volleyball players when I was a young girl and I wanted to be like them and get to do the cool stuff they did.  I also have a lot of really great memories from when I was in high school and all the volleyball games, practices, and summer workouts and camps we did. 

So, this past weekend, some people from my hometown put together an alumni volleyball game as a fundraiser/benefit for a woman with cancer.  She was about 7 years older than me, but I knew her because our parents were friends and it was a small town, so everyone knew everyone.  She played volleyball and so did her sister, who was a senior when I was a freshman.  Our coach, who left after my junior year for a bigger school, came back and hosted a camp for younger players and helped organize the alumni game. 

I can't even describe how awesome the evening was.  It was kind of like a class reunion, but a whole town reunion.  There were so many people there I haven't seen for many, many years.  There were about 30 women who played in the alumni volleyball game.  I got to play on a team with the exact same starting line up from my senior year.  It was so fun!  I haven't played volleyball since high school, but it was amazing how quickly it came back. 

The really cool part was just the support for Sarah, the lady with cancer.  She no longer lives in the town, her parents moved away, her sisters moved away.  But so many people came out to support her; travelled several miles to support her.  It speaks volumes for small town community and for our former volleyball coach.  I wish I was able to put in words how wonderful it was.  I don't go to my hometown anymore because my parents don't live there, so it was extra special for me to see people I grew up with.  It was fun to see everyone's kids, especially to pick out who belonged to whom as they ran around the gym.  Aria had a good time playing with the girls of one of my very best friends from my whole childhood 0-18.  It was quite nostalgic to watch them play together.  Super awesome event!  Kudos to those who made it happen.  I'm not sure it could ever be duplicated!

Ten Years

So, yesterday was the ten year anniversary of my college graduation.  TEN. YEARS.  What?  I feel so old!

 It is actually quite weird.  Usually I have this surreal "it seems like yesterday, yet it seems like forever ago" moment with these types of things.  But it doesn't feel like yesterday.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  Yet when I say I've been in the real world for ten years, that seems too long.  I think the main reason I've been reflecting on this so much is that I am a totally different person these days.  That girl in the picture up there, she recently got engaged, recently got a teaching job, and had a whole life planned out.  If you would have asked her where she would be in ten years, I guarantee she would have said still teaching at Linn-Mar with two or three kids.  I know I didn't picture myself as a stay at home mom then and I thought I would eventually be one of those crazy people getting a 30 year service award.  I loved my job and I loved the district.  I couldn't imagine doing anything else.

Now I can't imagine doing anything else, either.  I know it doesn't work for some and it is just personal choice for others, but I cannot fathom how I could possibly leave Aria in a day care and go to work all day. Could not do it.  So glad I don't have to.  Not only has it been the best for Aria, but it is the best for me, too.  God knew I needed a pride and selfishness check.  He knew I needed to see the world from a different viewpoint.  He knew I needed to give up control. 

While I still struggle with relinquishing control, I have come a long way.  There is a totally different person sitting at this keyboard than the one staring back at me in that picture.  Some say I look pretty much the same, but the inside is totally different.  The biggest change?  My faith.  Thankfully we were pointed to our amazing church family and have been growing ever since.  I never knew how much I needed God in my life.  I never realized how valuable an Adult Bible Fellowship group could be.  I didn't know what true, amazing friendship really meant until I joined a small group.  But God had that all planned out for me.  He knew that girl in the picture would struggle to have just one child.  He knew she would give up her teaching and coaching and love for all those students to love the one precious child He gave her.  He knew.  And He knows where I'm going in the next ten years, too.  I look at myself and laugh at how different I am from that picture.  Maybe I should take a picture of myself today so I can look at it and laugh in ten more years. 

Ha!  No need to wait ten years to laugh at that!  I do wonder what the future holds.  Aria will be 13 in ten years.  Holy cow I'll have a teenager!  I will have a student the same age as the ones I loved so dearly when I was teaching.  Maybe I will be teaching again.  Maybe I won't.  Maybe we will still live here and be a part of a lot of the same things we do now.  Maybe we won't.  Whatever is in store, I know I will trust God a lot more than I did ten years ago.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

Wizard of Oz

Some great friends of ours recently won tickets to our community theater's production of The Wizard of Oz and invited us to go along.  I had never been to the local theater and was super excited to go.  The show was fantastic!  It was cast so well.  Each character seemed to really fit their part and do a wonderful job portraying the character.  My favorite part was probably when Dorothy got to Munchkinland and the munchkins were adorable kids who sang and danced so well.  My nostalgic moment of the night was when Dorothy sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  I hadn't really thought about what I would be seeing before we went to the show, but as soon as she started singing the song, my waterworks began.  I have a very vivid memory of sitting at the piano with my grandma when I was a very little girl while she played and sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  It reminded me that when Aria was a little baby I started singing that song to her because of that memory with my grandma, whom she is named after.  I haven't sang it or played it for Aria in a long time and I should probably do that again. 

Anyway, the show was very well done and I would highly recommend it to everyone!  Thank you so much to our friends for inviting us!  It was a wonderful first experience at the theater for me and I hope to go again.

LLLLLLLLLL

For her entire speaking life, Aria has pronounced the "L" sound as a "W" sound.  It is pretty adorable.  However, the worrisome mom in me started fretting about her needing speech therapy or something.  So, I tried to teach her how to say the "L" sound.  My effort to teach her involved having her stick her tongue completely out of her mouth to say it.  It was rather humorous for awhile, seeing her with her tongue out trying to say "L".  But now she is getting the hang of it.  So much so that she over corrects sometimes. 

Where "yellow" was once ye-yo, it is now lell-low.

In a music class song we sing "farewell" and it has become fare-lell.

She also over emphasizes the "L" most of the time when she says it, like today when she asked, "what are we having for lllllllllllunch.

It is equally as adorable to watch her try to figure out which words have "L" and which ones are really a "W" and I have realized how foolish I was to worry about her ability to say the "L" sound.  Every time she says an "L" word I think about how she is growing up.  I'm not sad about her growing up, too much, but it is an interesting emotion when I think about how she used to do or say something. 

Aria is very interested in "how did I say _________ when I was a baby?"  She gets a kick out of words that were really different than how she says them now.  It is just weird for me because I feel like it was decades ago that she was just learning how to talk and yet I wonder how she has grown up so fast.  I'm sure it will only compound as the years go by. 

This being a mom thing, it just keeps getting more awesome!

The Uniform

I've been meaning to post this since November.  That shows how much I've been on top of my blogging. 

In our wedding, our flower girl wore a basketball uniform like the one I wore in college and our ring bearer wore a baseball uniform like Justin's college uniform.

The picture isn't the best quality, but you get the drift.  At my baby shower, the flower girl and her family gave me back the little basketball uniform!

And now it fits Aria!

This is just crazy nostalgia for me!  I can't believe I've been married that long.  I can't believe our flower girl is so grown up these days.  I can't believe my daughter is big enough to wear the uniform! 

She thinks it is a Hawkeye uniform, which is close enough for me.