Misconceptions About In Vitro

I haven't wrote about our in vitro stuff for quite awhile, so I thought I better add another posting. I really have so much more to say about it, even though I already have several long postings. Before I really knew what in vitro was, I might have had the same ideas I am about to talk about, although I'm not sure I ever really thought about it. I encourage open minds out there...

I think most people have probably heard of the octo-mom...a woman somewhere out west who already had 6 children and convinced a fertility specialist to implant 8 more. Unfortunately those kind of people get the publicity about fertility clinics. The University of Iowa is not like that at all. They would NEVER implant 8 embryos at once, no matter the situation. The first time we went through in vitro, the doctors told us they would only implant one embryo because I was so young and that is the safest option for mother and baby. There are always risks with multiples. We would have the option to cryo-preserve others if necessary. As you may have read we only had one embryo that lived until transplant day. We didn't have to worry about freezing.

I guess I should explain, I believe a CHILD is created the moment the sperm fertilizes the egg. I only refer to the children as embryos to designate what stage they are in. I hope that doesn't confuse anyone. Even though my child was created outside of my body, she was still a child from day 0, as they called it!

To continue, the second time around the doctors told us they would implant two, if we had two, because of our failed cycle the first time. Again, we only had one that lived to transplant day. We never "threw away" any children or chose a specific one over another one. We only had one. Had we been given more than one child, we would have implanted both the second time. If by some miracle there were more, we would have frozen them to use later. I know a couple that created their two children at the same time through in vitro, but one was frozen and used two years later. To go off on a tangent, that same couple was over 40 when trying to conceive and the most the U of I would implant at one time in them was 4. So no octo-moms around here!

I guess I really wanted to write about this because I don't want people out there to think fertility clinics are a bad place that throw away children. Maybe that does happen at the U of I, but I didn't see it. Obviously there are people out there who do it, but I am certainly not one of them. In the beginning of our quest for in vitro I was a little leary about combining science with God. But, I came to the realization that God created the science and technology that is in vitro. He would not have created it if He didn't was people to use it. Just like anything else, though, it can be abused. I also thanked God many times for putting us so close to one of the best in vitro places around! I can't imagine what it would have been like if we lived 4 hours away from Iowa City or more. As much as we had to go there, we would have had to move or something to make it work if we weren't so close.

Another thing out there is the possibility of creating embryos to use as treatment for diseases like Parkinsons. Awhile ago I read Michael J. Fox's book, Always Looking Up. While it had some vulgar language and topics I wasn't too interested in, it was a very interesting story about the disease that has crippled Michael J. Fox. He is obviously a huge promoter of the use of stem cells to help people like himself. I think I read his book after I was already pregnant, so I really understood a lot of what he was talking about having just been through in vitro. I am definitely not in favor of creating embryos just to kill the child, in a sense, and use the cells to help a diseased adult. However, I am not opposed to scientific research to help cure diseases.

I guess this posting has kind of turned into a science and God topic that could get a lot deeper. I'm not sure I have enough knowledge to discuss it in depth, but I do have more knowledge than I would have without my in vitro experience. I guess to sum up my thoughts, I hope people out there have an open mind about in vitro. I have heard comments and know of couples who don't want to use it because it is not God's natural way of creating a child. True, maybe it isn't how it happened in the beginning of time, but the Internet didn't exist then, either. God has allowed for and helped our world advance beyond our ancestors wildest imaginations. I believe He planned for me to go through in vitro in order to have a child way back in 1980 when he first created me, just like he planned for me to marry Justin at that same time. And I don't know if in vitro really existed much back then. Isn't it amazing what God knows!!! He has a plan for all of us! How can we do anything but humble ourselves and do everything to live our lives for His purpose!!

6 Months Already!

Today was Aria's 6 month well-child check-up. Crazy how time flies!! Here is the report:
18 lbs. 1.5 oz (87 %ile)
27 inches tall (90 %ile)
44.5 cm head circumference (94 %ile) A big noggin to hold all those brains! :)

A few more numbers...
She's already accelerated to size 3 diapers!
She's wearing mostly 6-9 or just plain 9 month clothing!
She's almost ready to burst out of her carseat!

It amazes me that just a half a year ago Aria was
8 lbs. 15.6 oz
21 inches tall
36.5 head circumference

Not only has she grown, but she is learning sooooo much! Some things I've noticed lately:

She is starting to attempt to prop herself up on all fours...even if it is just for a few seconds.

Aria multi-tasks with different objects in each hand, yet sometimes trying to get them both in her mouth at the same time.

She is starting to recognize her name just a little bit.

She loves to turn the pages of books...which means no more page books for now!

Aria seems to enjoy trying new foods and loves her sippy cup!

Her new favorite game is peek-a-boo! (See below)

I can't believe how much Aria has grown and changed in her first 185 days of life. I can't even fathom what the next 180 will bring. I love watching her grow, learn, and discover the world! What an amazing job I have!

Books

I love to read! I am pretty sure I have loved to read since I was able to do so and probably before. Sure, there were times in my life when reading was not a big priority, but I've always come back to it. Now I like to read all types of books. I read fantasy, mystery, non-fiction, the Bible, children's books, etc. I haven't always liked all genres. In fact, my mom likes to remind me that I would not read fantasy when I was younger because I didn't like things that could not possibly happen. I truly don't know what was wrong with me then! Fantasy is probably my favorite now. I am the type that waited in line at midnight for most of the Harry Potter books and I even did so for Breaking Dawn of the Twilight series. I love the thrill of a new book in a series. I am also the type that cannot put a book down, although I have had to learn to do so with a little one depending on me now. When Harry Potter 7 came out, I had to sit up straight in the middle of my bed at 4:30 am to keep reading. Justin woke up and told me to go to bed. The book would still be there in the morning. But I just can't put it down. I have to know what happens next! In fact, sometimes I skip ahead just to see what happens and then go back and read it word for word. I know...I am pathetic.

Which brings me to my point. When you are watching a television program, I understand creating suspense for the next episode; causing the viewer to tune in next week. But why do authors do that with chapters in a book? It drives me nuts when an author creates a big cliff hanger at the end of a chapter. Then I have to turn the page, start the new chapter just to see what happens. Chapter breaks should happen at points where you can take a rest from the story, not at suspenseful parts. It's not like "tune in next week". The reader can just turn the page and keep reading. It's not like an author gets more money for how fast a person reads the book. I would really like good stopping points at chapter breaks! That way when I say I must stop at the next chapter, I won't keep going without realizing a chapter has occurred because of the suspense. I have learned I can just stop in the middle of a chapter, but I always lose my place that way and I am such a perfectionist I think I must stop at a chapter.

So authors out there...please make chapter breaks a good place to stop! :)

Lately...

Upon the third crash of our wonderful computer, Justin and I decided to purchase a new one...Happy Anniversary to us! At least now I can catch up all you Aria fans on what she has been doing!

It is amazing to me how much she changes in just a week, let alone the almost two months it has been since I have had a properly functioning computer to call my own. The first crash began on Memorial Day, so I thought I would include some highlights from the month of June and then the month of July.

JUNE:


When Grandma babysits, I like to take naps with her!


We had some beautiful flowers growing in our backyard!


I started riding in the stroller like a big girl!


We had a fun get together with the Rickey family and all the babies born in the past year!


Daddy got a new job in Hiawatha and he doesn't have to drive to Cedar Falls every day any more!!!!!!


I learned how to read. :)


And, I started sitting all by myself!

JULY:


I really love to grab my feet! When I get excited it is the first thing I do!


I decided I want to be a basketball player when I grow up!


I ate my first solid food, rice cereal, on July 3! Believe it or not, after awhile I started swallowing some of the food. Mommy said not to bore everyone with a 12 minute video, though.


I've gotten so much better at eating. I've tried rice cereal, squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, apples, and bananas. I think sweet potatoes are my favorite so far. I really like to get them everywhere!


On Daddy's day off between jobs we went to Grandma and Grandpa Blow's house. We went swimming in the Tipton pool and I floated in my raft. We even went in the lazy river. The water was cold at first, but I liked it as soon as I got used to it!


I really like my Augie dog, but she often runs away from me. Mommy got this great picture of us in a moment when she was actually holding still!


I can't crawl yet, but I can make my way all around the room and find all kinds of great things to play with and put in my mouth!


Hopefully I can keep this blog updated on a day to day basis! I can't imagine what Aria will be doing two months from now!

Computers

The Evolution of the Computer in my Life:

I can remember getting our very first computer. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember right where it sat in our kitchen and I know it was an Apple. I thought it was the coolest thing ever! I know I was in elementary school when we got it and the earliest thing I can remember doing on it was Mario Teaches Typing. That was actually a beneficial program, but beyond Mario the greatest uses I remember for that first computer was Oregon Trail, Sim City, and other fun games. Those were the days!

As I got older, I began to use the computer for more than just games. I worked for my dad's business and used the Quickbooks software to do payroll, pay bills, and create invoices. I also started using Word (or whatever the equivalent was then) for typing documents for school. I can even remember using an ACT practice prgoram. I'm sure I still played some games, too.

Then, lo and behold we got the Internet! I think it was sometime around my senior year of high school (98-99). I can remember creating the email account I still use today. I purposely did not use my last name because I thought, "I might still be using this account when I have a different last name." I thought the Internet was the greatest invention yet and I spent hours on it, probably mostly on some sort of chat like MSN. It was such a fun new way to communicate!

As a graduation present my parents gave me my very own computer to take to college! It really was a useful gift. I wrote plenty of papers and did plenty of research that helped me obtain my degree. However, what I remember from that computer is learning how to download music and make cds. And, one of the best uses of my very first computer goes like this. My freshman roommate and I could not have been more different. Different majors, different backgrounds, different interests. But, we hit it off amazingly! We never had a quarrel and we stood in our empty room on moving out day and cried and cried because we weren't going to see each other for 2.5 months until we were roommates again. Back to the computer. Many nights Lori would go to the basement of our dorm and use the computers there while I would work on my computer. We would, of course, both be on MSN or AOL chat. We ended up having some of the best heart to hearts on those chat nights. I know I never would have been able to share some of the things I did in person, even though we had become such good friends. A lot of our friends laughed at us because we started to purposely have deep conversations on chat, instead of just by coincidence while we should have been doing homework. That was great fun!

Ironically, by the end of my college life that computer was getting a bit rusty and I received a new computer as a gift from my parents. This was newer, faster, and with better programs! This wonderful computer became the first computer for Justin and I as a married couple, too. Quite quickly, as it seems in the electronic world, that computer became too old and too slow for my liking. We got a laptop, which I will describe in the next paragraph. I took the old and slow computer to my classroom so there would be an extra one for student use. Surprisingly, the computer lasted 2 years in a room full of middle schoolers. When I went to clean out my room at the end of this school year, my students informed me the computer had "died". It no longer worked. One of my very technologically advanced students said, "I would sure love to take that apart and see if I can get it to work again." I responded, "it's yours!" He was sure shocked. We arranged for him to ask his parents and I wrote him a note giving my signature to ensure my permission. I didn't know what else to do with it. Why not give a curious, intelligent, future computer guru the chance to learn? I ought to check in with him to see how it is going!

Back to the current laptop. It was a Christmas present in 2007 and seemed to be a pretty good one other than the mouse working backwords occasionally. All of a sudden, around Memorial Day weekend, it started acting up. To make a long story short, we had to send it in to Sony TWICE to get it fixed. It is still under warranty and it does appear to be fixed now, but oh what a pain! A long time ago, life without a computer would have just meant no games for awhile. Now.... AAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! No computer means no email, no facebook, no cute pictures to post of Aria, no blogging, no reading other blogs, no creating items for my friends baby shower, no checking the weather, no paying bills online, no knowing how much money is in the bank account, etc, etc, etc. My computer is now my life! When did that happen? I don't even have one of those fancy check your email on your phone options (although my phone is a considerable upgrade from the bag phone as big as a shoe box that you plugged into the cigarette outlet that was my dad's that I got to take when I went out somewhere in high school...but that is another blog post). Going more than a month with very limited access to a computer was miserable. I'm so glad to have it back! (I think)

Cardinals vs. Dodgers

We are extreme sports fans in our house and luckily we tend to agree on some teams such as the Packers and Iowa football. However Justin and I disagree on baseball. I am a Cardinals fan and Justin is a Dodgers fan. At least he doesn't like the Cubs. So, last week the Cardinals and Dodgers were playing each other in a 3 game series. Starting early to convince Aria to like Mommy's team, I dressed her up in a Cardinals shirt and white shorts. When I got dressed for the day, I decided to be her twin. We were all ready for Daddy to get home and notice who WE were rooting for that night! Unfortunately, Daddy's team won all 3 games...bummer! But, it made for a cute picture. :)

An Only Child?

Since my last post 3 weeks ago we have experienced some computer failure at our house and I haven't been able to blog. I feel very lost. I have so many ideas in my head to write about, I can't ever decide which to do first. Then, as our computer would only work for about 10 minutes at a time, blogging wasn't the most important use of those 10 minutes. Now, our computer is off to fix-it land and I am borrowing my mom's very nice, new, working computer while they are on a mini vacation!

Anyway, something I've wanted to write about on here for a while is whether Aria will be our only child. Our country probably averages over 2 children per family. It is definitely not common for a couple to only have one child here in the good ol' USA. Maybe I should live in China. I think it is much more common there. At least in China people probably wouldn't just automatically assume we are going to have more children. After all the struggles we went through to get pregnant, I couldn't believe the comments I received once I was pregnant about having a second or third or fourth child. People would comment on how there is no rest during a second pregnancy or on how close together to have the kids and other random topics about multiple children. In my mind I always thought...can't I just have this child first?

Granted, most people who commented like that did not know about our journey to pregnancy, but there were some who did know and still talked about more children. Maybe it is just our society; always wanting more. I have that kind of personality I suppose. My parents will tell you I was always looking forward to the next big milestone...going to school, turning 10, going to high school, turning 16, etc. I suppose the logical next step once you are preparing to have your first child is to think about the second. Well, not me.

Don't get me wrong, if God decides to naturally give us another child I will be thrilled. Of course, I kind of hope He doesn't decide to do that until Aria is at least 2. However, I am not counting on another child. I feel so very blessed and lucky to have a happy, healthy, beautiful little girl who fills my life with joy every day. I can't imagine my life without her. When I look into the future, I always just see the three of us. Maybe I just don't know any better at the moment. It is a strange conflict in my head. Do I want another child? Do I want to go through in vitro again? I don't know. I really can't answer that right now. I do know that I would be perfectly content if Aria is the only child I ever have. How do I know?

I am one of those rare "only children". It is the only thing I really know. I bet a person with several brothers and sisters might be scared of having only one child, but not me. I know exactly what that kind of life is like. When I was a young child, there were times I wanted a brother or sister to play with. There were times I wondered why I was an only child. There were times I got sick of people talking about how spoiled I was for being an only child. Right now, those are the only negatives I can think of. To counter those negatives, I had a lot of cousins that lived close that I got to play with. A lot of the people who called me spoiled had just as much or more than I did. And, whenever I wondered why I was an only child, my mom would reply, "We got it right the first time. Why would we want to do it again?" I kind of like that response!

There are a lot of good things about being an only child. The parents never have to choose whose basketball game, band concert, volleyball game, softball game, dance recital, etc to go to. The parents can make easy arrangements to travel all over the country to basketball games like mine did when I was in college. Once they drove our team van to Sioux City and back in one day, got home at 6:00 am and went to work without any sleep. Of course there is also the money issue. All the money budgeted for birthday presents, Christmas presents, vacation fun, etc. can be spent on just the one child. That sounds really vain, but it is an advantage. Another advantage, having no siblings to be close with, I naturally have a very close relationship with both of my parents. I can tell them anything. I got all of my parents attention. I didn't have to wait for someone else, share, take turns, or help raise other kids. Yes, I was spoiled. But, I like to think I wasn't a spoiled brat. My parents did give me the world when they could, but they did it through love. I still had discipline and I still heard the word 'no'. Bottom line, there can be only one child and she can be spoiled without being a spoiled brat.

When I was younger there were times I wanted siblings, but as an adult I see how lucky I was to be an only child. I am still lucky being an only child. Now, Aria is an only grandchild...imagine how awesome that is! There are still some things I'm scared of. I no longer have any living grandparents. I watched as my parents handled both of their parents deaths with their siblings. They could lean on each other, make decisions together, and help each other get through it. I won't have that. I do have a very loving husband who will take that place, though. The cousins I got to play with so much when I was young...Aria won't have any 'Blow' cousins. (Teran--I guess that means you need to have several kids so Aria can have some cousins!) Right now, I'd like to think not having cousins on my side of the family won't matter. Recently our friend group has exploded with children, all just about within 2 years of age. I would like to think those kids can be Aria's cousins?? Let me know if that is okay with Caleb, Sophia, Levi, Gracie, Joey, Evelyn, baby H....!

What will Aria think of being an only child? I'm sure a lot of the same things I thought and maybe more. Will she end up being an only child? Only God knows that plan. I do know that she will be spoiled, but will hopefully be taught not to be a spoiled brat. And, when she wonders if she was a bad baby or if her parents didn't really want children much like I did, I will respond the same way my mom did to me....we definitely got it right the first time! Just look at that cute face!