When Your Dog Doesn't Know She Is Sick

It all started one warm spring day in early April.  Aria, Augie, and I decided to skip rest time and head to Thomas park for a bike ride/walk and maybe a swim for Augie.  Augie LOVES Thomas Park.  We have taken her there her entire life to play in the creek.  She knows the place by name and was thrilled to get in the car and head that way.  She was panting and was really excited the whole way there.  However, once we pulled into the parking lot and into a space, there was no noise from Augie in the back.  She had stopped breathing.

It was incredibly scary.  I threw open the lift gate and helped Augie down to the ground.  She was gasping for air, sucking in as hard as she could, but was not breathing.  I had no idea what to do.  We were in the middle of a hot, asphalt parking lot, my dog couldn't breathe and I thought she was going to die just like that.  I called Justin and he came as quickly as he could.  At the time I didn't really know what happened, but something changed and all of a sudden, Augie could breathe again.  I was able to get her up and move her to the shade.  After a few minutes she was ready to go play in the creek.  But I wasn't about to let her.

Actually for a couple months before the incident, Augie seemed to be more out of breath when we played with her than usual.  We had been telling her to stop and rest when she seemed really winded, but had thought it was just old age.  She is almost 10.

Once Justin arrived, we took Augie to the vet.  They did a bunch of tests and everything revealed she is a really healthy dog.  The vet wasn't sure what happened.  One idea was laryngeal paralysis.  There isn't a great way to determine if a dog has laryngeal paralysis other than sticking a scope down her throat, so we decided to not put her through that procedure.  At this point we are quite certain she has laryngeal paralysis and there is really nothing we can do about it.

Laryngeal paralysis is a condition that is common in labs.  I've done some research online and learned enough to know that Augie's symptoms match the condition exactly.  Basically there is a flap that opens and closes in her throat.  When over-excited, overheated, or over-exercised the flap can paralyze in the closed position and Augie cannot get air.

Since the time at Thomas park, Augie has had two more severe attacks.  Both times the length and severity of the attacks have gotten worse.  Last week, she was in respiratory distress for about 2 hours.  It was awful.

After her attack last week, I was sick to my stomach for several days trying to figure out what to do.  The attack definitely took a toll on Augie.  Now, she gets to panting pretty bad just from walking around the house.  If we take her outside in the yard, it is worse.  When people come over she gets really excited and starts wheezing.

Justin and I have had numerous conversations about what is best for Augie.  We talked about putting her down, but I just can't bear the thought.  She is still Augie.  She is still happy.  She follows us around.  She eats like normal.  She would bring a ball and play if we let her.  And that is the hardest part.  Augie is not capable of understanding her condition.  She doesn't know how to keep herself calm all the time.  Because as long as we keep her completely calm and at rest, she is perfectly fine.  But she is a lab.  And she has never been what I would consider "calm."

We can't take her outside and throw the ball for her.  We can't take her for a walk.  I don't even like having her outside with us while Aria plays in the yard because Augie still wants to run around and sniff everything.  I am afraid to have people come over to our house because she gets so excited for visitors, not to mention an unexpected doorbell ring.  And the biggest issue, what do we do when we need to be gone overnight.  She gets way to excited to ride in the car and she would not be able to stay calm at my parents' house with their dog, where she usually stays.

I have had an upset stomach and cried and cried and cried about this for days.  I'm not ready for our beloved Augie to die.  I don't want her to have this unpredictable condition.  I want to still play with her and take her places and have that constant loving companion.  Because when it comes to the title, "man's best friend,"  she really has been or in this case, woman's best friend.

We got Augie 3 weeks after we got married.  She used to sit on our lap and sleep in our bed.  She went with us everywhere and was our true child.  Augie is the best dog.  She has never chewed things up or destroyed things.  She is great with kids.  She loved Aria from the start.  She has tolerated pulled ears, little hands in her mouth, and dress up.  Augie knows when you are sad and comes and sits close by to make you feel better.  She is truly the best.

I know some people don't have pets and some don't like dogs.  I know some people don't understand why this is so hard for me.  She is "just" a dog.  I do know that.  But she is a special dog.  She is part of our family.  We love her and are concerned for her.  I have this dark cloud that looms in the back of my head as I wonder when she will have another attack, if it will be the one she doesn't survive, and how we are going to care for her as we try to live our normal life.

My mom gave me some great advice in that I have to come to terms with what is happening.  Wishing it were not so won't really get me anywhere.  I'm sure there is a lesson in trusting God through all of this that I can learn.  I know God gave us Augie as a very special family pet.  I know she was sent as a special source of joy and comfort for both Justin and I and now for Aria, too.  And I know someday she will be gone.  I know God will help us all cope with losing her, as He will help us care for her while she is still here.

I am slowly coming to terms with it all.  I understand she is not able to be the dog she always has been and that she still thinks she is.  Our activities with her will be much different.  But we can still enjoy having her around.  We can take care of her and keep her calm as best we can.

Even though this time is hard, our almost 10 years of joy with her as our pet far outweigh the sadness I am experiencing now.  She will continue to be loyal and loving until the very end.  And we will, too.