Lately I've been thinking a lot about how people come and go in my life. I think it is because of two things...school and the moving of good friends.
It's that time of year where I start to think about the upcoming school year...oh wait, I'm not teaching anymore. Actually, I am quite happy what I am doing and wouldn't trade it for the world, but there is just a button inside of me that automatically starts thinking about school once the calendar approaches August. This year is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier than last year when it comes to missing teaching, but a part of me will always miss it.
Back to my original topic. When I taught, I saw students every school day for approximately 43 minutes, for three years. That totals to 540 school days and 387 hours of interaction with those students. During their middle school time, I spent a lot of time getting to know my students. It was always my goal to get to know them personally, not just as a student. Then, they go to high school (or move to a different state) and I see them never. Not one minute in four years. Unless I am lucky enough for them to visit or to run into them in the community. Sometimes it is hard for me to let go. I loved my students and I wanted to make their educational experience in middle school a positive one. So I learned about the things they liked, participated in, and were good at. I often heard about who was dating whom, what books to read, what friendships were on the rocks, what clothes were in style, and what movie to go see. I tried to make a difference in their lives. And then they move on and I am left with a new bunch of students to build a relationship with. While I loved building the new relationships, I always missed the old ones and I always wondered what those students were up to and how they were growing. I still do. My oldest class of students is about to start their senior year of college; my youngest their eighth grade year. I wonder what they are all up to and if they still remember that crazy TAG teacher they had. I miss them. I consider it a huge honor when former students want to keep in touch with me through an email, a Facebook friendship, or a visit now and then. But sometimes it is just weird that I have missed so much of their lives since middle school. The same thing applies to the basketball players I used to coach. Except I spent more time with them during the countless hours of basketball season and for four years for some of them. I built even closer relationships with them because of the strong bond of a love for basketball. I miss them, too.
Justin and I have been a part of a Bible study group for five years now. The group has grown, adapted and changed over those five years, but we still consider those five other couples our closest, bestest friends. Well, one of those couples moved away recently and I think two more might be close behind. They all have great reasons for moving, better jobs, closer to family, but I miss (am going to miss) my friends. It makes me sad to think half of the people that have had such a large impact on this season of my life might be gone soon and not have a large impact on the next season. I am an introvert and I am very slow to trust people. But I can be myself 100% with these friends and I trust them completely. They support me, pray for me, laugh with me, cry with me, and know a lot of stuff about me. What will I do when they are gone? I know God will provide new friends to be close with, but it is just hard to think about. I will be missing out on their lives, just like my former students and players.
It's not that this hasn't happened in my life before. One of my very bestest friends in the whole wide world lives on the other side of the state. We met in college and it was one of those friendships that became strong about five seconds after we met. She is just one of those people that I knew I could trust from day one. She is always happy and positive. She is fun, adventurous, and a little crazy. She has a great heart. We have a lot in common and figured that out almost immediately as I chased her around campus with silly string as a part of a freshman initiation! But like I said, she lives on the other side of the state. We never see each other and we talk only every once in a great while, but when we do, it is just like old times. We pick right up where we left off. I miss her so much and I always wish we lived in the same town because I know we would be spending a lot of time together. I am so bad at keeping in touch with people, especially because I am not much of a phone talker. She has two kids and I've only met the oldest one once when she was a tiny baby. She has never met Aria. It's weird that the biggest and one of the best parts of my life, and probably hers, too (our kids), we haven't got to share with each other. I am so very thankful God gave me that friendship, even if it is from long ago and far away, because I am certainly better with it than I ever would have been without.
There's more. There is my maid of honor, whom was my roommate in college for two years and someone whom I shared everything with. She got to hear all kinds of stuff that she probably didn't really care to know, but she listened anyway. She was my best friend throughout my college life. And I miss her, too. And she does live in the same town. Once again, me and my horrible keeping in touch habits. Our lives have gone in different directions and our friendship isn't the same as it was, but it is still one that I cherish so much.
There are numerous childhood and high school friends that I never keep in touch with, but who meant so much to me in that time of my life. I sat on the front porch with a good friend night after night after night trying to figure out how to make our lives better. I laid on a kitchen floor playing board games or drove around town aimlessly with another one instead of going to the party, for which I am forever thankful. There are so many more.
There's the people that leave your life for good when they pass away. Obviously that is the toughest one because there isn't a Facebook in Heaven. There are things that I wish I could share with my grandparents, like Aria and Justin, that I just can't. But, I have wonderful memories of all the things I did get to share with them.
I guess I am kind of rambling or maybe you could call it a tribute to the people I have been thinking a lot about lately. This is my introverted, not good at keeping in touch way of letting you all know that I miss you and love you and very much value the difference you have made in my life. I am who I am because of all of you. I'm thankful for God's perfect plan of putting you in my life for the time that you were/are in it. I know God will continue to provide the friendships for me that I need, even if they aren't the ones I was planning on. That has been a hard lesson for me, but one that has helped me grow, too.
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