Love

I've never really been a fan of Valentine's Day.  Maybe I liked it as a little kid, but I doubt it.  I don't really remember.  Growing up, I spent my time wishing and hoping for something romantic to happen to me on Valentine's Day.  I can vaguely remember exchanging Valentines with classmates in grade school and I'm sure I didn't get one from someone I wished I would have at one point or another.  One year in high school, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend broke up with me just so he didn't have to get me a present for Valentine's Day.  Then in college, there were two different years where guys I was not interested in tried to win me over on Valentine's Day.  Awkward. 

Then I met Justin.  We had been dating for five months when the first Valentine's Day rolled around.  I honestly have no idea what we did.  What I do know is that it didn't matter what day it was, he gave me the goosebumps.  The kind of butterflies in your stomach that you never want to go away.  I was completely in love.  I knew he was the one for me and I was helplessly smitten.  Obviously, since I've been married to him for the better part of seven years, I was right.  I really was in love, but I didn't really know what love meant.

I still don't completely know.  I believe I will continue to learn as life progresses.  I do know what it isn't.  Or at least that what it pretends to be in the beginning is not what it really is.  I think a lot of the reason marriages end in divorce is because people expect that new, butterflies in your stomach, awesome, starry-eyed high to last all the time.  It doesn't.  What lies underneath is a deeper, more passionate, completely unconditional love that is for a lifetime.  This is the kind of love that keeps you going strong...not the energy from the butterflies.

Frankly, I'm still fairly new in this being married game, but I've learned a lot.  I've learned that love isn't just feeling all tingly inside.  It is knowing someone will be there with you in every aspect of your life.  Love is knowing your spouse will take care of you when you are sick.  It is going through the trials of life holding hands as one.  It is sweeping the floor because you know it means a lot to her.  Love is leaving a note on his razor because it will make his day.  It is raising a child together and seeing all the best of your spouse come out in her.  It is working hard every day to provide for your family.  It is taking trips, playing games, watching movies, and making cupcakes.  Love is knowing every minute of every day there is another part of you living, breathing, existing separately, yet bound to you with an unbreakable seal. 

Love is what I have.  I am in love.  I know that I am loved.  I even still get the butterflies sometimes.  I know my love will last and I don't have to wonder when he will call next (thank goodness!).  Justin, you are the love of my life.  God perfectly chose you for me and he knew you would make me feel happy, beautiful, and worthy.  I'm so glad we have found the love that was underneath all that like that was on the surface.  Happy Valentine's Day!  I love you so much!